I bought my wife some perfume at the weekend called chloroform.

She said she didnt like it as it made her sleepy and her bum sore

Joke of the Day -

Tim’s First Interview
Interviewer: “Tell me opposite words.. COOL”
Tim: “Hot”
Interviewer: "Girl"
Tim: “Boy”
Interviewer: ” Love ”
Tim: ” Hate ”
Interviewer: “Good Keep it up”
Tim: “Bad Put it down”
Interviewer: “Stop It”
Tim: “Start that”
Interviewer: “Idiot Get Out”
Tim: “Clever Come in”
Interviewer: “Oh my God”
Tim: “Oh your devil”
Interviewer: “I rejected You”
Tim: “You appointed Me”

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 30lbs!

'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?'

The Irishman nodded...'I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on that 3rd day.'

'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.

'No, from the fekin skipping'

A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says "I hope the porn is disabled." The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck."

Originally Posted by xeroin

A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and says "I hope the porn is disabled." The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck."

Well done on reposting the same joke I posted 2 days ago on the previous page.

At least you took the trouble to change the wording slightly I suppose

Originally Posted by gagtoon

Well done on reposting the same joke I posted 2 days ago on the previous page.

At least you took the trouble to change the wording slightly I suppose

I have noticed that too but no worries @xeroin good jokes can enjoyed more than once

Right @gagtoon ?

Oh ok then...seeing as its almost Christmas and Im in a good mood

Teacher: "Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?"
Pupil: "Because it can't sit down!"

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

Little Johnny's father asked him, "Do you know about the birds and the bees?"

"I don't want to know!" little Johnny said, bursting into tears.

Confused, the father asked little Johnny what was wrong.

"Oh dad," Little Johnny sobbed, "At age six I got the 'there's no Santa' speech. At age seven I got the 'there's no Easter bunny' speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the 'there's no tooth fairy' speech! If you're going to tell me now that grown-ups don't really f**k, I've got nothing left to live for!"