Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

Joke of the Day -

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."

Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.

What's the difference between a man and a messy room?
You can straighten up a messy room.

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love." the boy replied.Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?""With you!" he said."But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child.""Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom!"

What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
Sex.

Two strangers, a man and woman are seated at a dinner party together. The man turns to the woman and says, I've got a hypothetical question for you, miss.
The woman, curious, says "O.K. shoot."
The man says "If a man were to offer you one million pounds to sleep with him, would you do it?"
The woman thinks for a moment and finally answers "I guess I would...for a million pounds."
The man smiles and says "Then will you sleep with me for thirty-five pounds?"
The woman, with a shocked expression on her face, stands and screams at the man, "Of course I won't. What do you think I am!"
To which the man replies, "We've already determined WHAT you are, now we're just negotiating the price."

As I booked into a hotel, I said to the receptionist,

"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."

"No," she says, "It's regular porn, you sick ba$tard!"

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she.

Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.