A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger "units" than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly told his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."

@DGM

Two blondes walk beside each other down the street.
One of them sees a broken piece of mirror on the ground, grabs it, looks at it and says, "This girl looks so familiar, but I can't remember where I know her from."
The other girl grabs it from her hand, takes a look at it, and says, "It's me you idiot!"

@bonbon

hahahahahahahahahahahna classic!! considering my missus is blonde, guess what the first whats app message of the day to her was!!! pmsl

A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?"
"The Red Sox.""Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too.""That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?""No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"

This is the best one I've heard in a LOOOOONGGGG time...




Two gay men are traveling on a plane. Let's call them Steve and Bill.

"Dude, what if we had sex?" asks Steve.
"You crazy? Here, on the plane? It would be awkward, everyone would watch us doing it..."
"Man, nobody is even paying attention to anything. Look!"
Steve stands up and asks loudly:
"Could I have a pencil, please?"
Nobody gives a damn. Everyone is sleeping, reading, looking out the window, etc.
"They really wouldn't care then, would they?" says Bill.
So Steve and Bill have wild sex on the plane.
Later, when the plane arrives to the airport and the people are leaving, the stewardess sees an old man who threw up all over his shirt, even his pants are soaking in the filth.
"Sir, you should've asked for a bag!"
"I didn't dare" whispers the old man. "A few rows ahead I saw a man asking for a pencil and he got fucked in the ass..."

@cloudkicker that is quality!

Made 30 dirty, old guys laugh their asses off with it on Saturday. Figured it was worth telling here

Today's Joke -

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

Thanks for continuous contribution - @kuho, @cloudkicker @raynrach15 & @bonbon

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert.
They found a lamp and rubbed it.
A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.
The redhead wished to be back home.
Poof! She was back home.
The brunette wished to be at home with her family.
Poof! She was back home with her family.
The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below.
He thought, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got off the railing.He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life."Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind.""Dancing? I'm not dancing!" the armless man replied bitterly ... "My asshole itches, and I can't scratch it!"