Play Stellaris as the most evil alien race imaginable: HP printers

"Play as the HP DeskJet 2630 Wireless All-in-One Printer after they became sentient and conquered their humanoid makers," writes creator Tom on the mod's Steam Workshop page.

Indeed, the DeskJet 2630 is a Determined Exterminator, which from the get-go are built for combat, conquering, and genocide with +25% weapons damage, −15% ship cost, and +33% fleet capacity. "Born in fire, the Machine Intelligence's first move was to annihilate its organic creators in self-defense," reads Stellaris' general description of this single-minded empire type.

Their home planet, Printer Prime, is a Tomb World, meaning that in lore of this mod, printers nuked us to smithereens and left the planet in a nuclear winter. Sounds about right.

The DeskJet 2630 has these additional traits:

• Rapid Replicator (+20% Pop Assembly speed)
• Logic Engines (+10% Research Output)
• Mass-Produced (+15% Pop Assembly Speed)
• High Maintenance (+10% Robot Upkeep)
• Repurposed Hardware (–25% Leader Experience Gain)

High Maintenance is an appropriate pick—the flavor text reads: "These machines were designed with a complete disregard for longevity and are prone to malfunction. They will require frequent maintenance." Personally I'd love to see the "Bulky" trait added as a reflection of how cumbersome printers are.

As a reluctant user of printers, this mod taps into a lifelong rivalry I've cultivated with this peripheral. Troubleshooting internet issues with your ISP probably tops it for outright inconvenience, but nothing surpasses the mechanical evil of the printer: the way it reliably malfunctions the moment you absolutely need it; the inscrutable language ("PC LOAD LETTER"); its unending thirst for proprietary, overpriced blood.

Posted three days ago in Steam Workshop, this insidious add-on is already one of the most popular mods for Stellaris over the past week. Its creator says he's hoping to add an animated portrait in the future.