Apple wants to buy Shazam
The fruity cargo-cult Apple, which has problems writing code which can tell the time accurately, is splashing out nearly half a billion dollars on a gimmick which allows Apple fanboys to identify which Coldplay or U2 single they are listening to by pointing their expensive iPhone at it.
The dark satanic rumour mill says that Apple is in talks to acquire Shazam Entertainment whose software helps users identify songs by pointing their phone at an audio source.
Shazam’s smartphone app is already tightly integrated with Apple’s Siri digital assistant. Users of Apple’s iPhone with the Shazam app installed can say: “Hey Siri, what’s that song?” and the app will identify it. But Shazam has other features, such as the ability to identify television shows, which do not yet work with Siri.
The rumour is that Apple could pay about $400 million for Shazam and that a deal could be signed as early as next week. Shazam did not respond to a request for comment and Apple will never say anything anyway.
Shazam is a UK outfit so Apple can use all the cash it has stockpiled out of the US to avoid paying tax.
However, there is a sticking point. Shazam was recently valued at a billion dollars recently, so $400 million is a little too much of a bargain.
An acquisition of Shazam could help bolster Apple’s music efforts by making it easier for users to find songs and add them to playlists in its Apple Music service. Apple is desperate to get people to use its Apple Music Service as sales of the iPhone dry up. As of mid-2017, Apple Music had 27 million subscribers, behind rival music streaming service Spotify’s 60 million users.
