See what I did there? It’s clever. No? Alright, moving on.

E3 is upon us my good people. From June 9th, we will be bombarded with news, reveals, boring business plans, spokesmen talking about profit and loss and probably something about Kinect being implemented in our breakfast cereals. What really matters is the games, and Nintendo need to be more aware of this than their rivals.

I’m not worried about Microsoft and Sony. Their next-gen consoles are out and doing rather well. I’m yet to be blown away by any of their games if I’m completely honest but I expect there to be some awesome announcements from both parties soon. However, I am concerned about what Nintendo are doing. For the last several years, their previous two home consoles have been languishing on shelves. Sure, the Wii sold a hell of a lot but that was probably down to the low price point and emphasis on selling to the casual market; bringing in new customers such as women and the elderly. Unfortunately, this has resulted in a marked lack of love for the traditional gaming crowd, namely people like me.

Even now, if you were to browse a Nintendo shelf, you’ll be assaulted with images of mediocre shovelware; third party games (more often than not mini-game compilations) created by has-beens or will-never-be’s. Big companies like Ubisoft and EA have seemingly distanced themselves from Nintendo. Wii U fans tend to get the short end of the stick on numerous third party ports. The list is too extensive to dwell on but the likes of Watch Dogs and Batman: Arkham Origins seem to be throwaway attempts at gaining a larger audience and catering The Forgotten Ones, Nintendo fans who haven’t plunged into the depths of next-gen gaming.

007 Legends is one of the worst games I have ever played

The last game I bought on the Wii U was 007 Legends. It was on sale for about £6 and I made the mistake of not really reading up on it. I loved the Wii remake of GoldenEye and assumed the same talented team were behind this. It is one of the worst games I’ve ever played. On rare occasions, I may dust off the Wii U to impress my friends with ZombiU or have a bit of multiplayer fun with Nintendoland but for the most part, that console is hidden away out of sight like an unwanted child. I don’t even feed it or clean it. I feel cruel sometimes. But like a disappointed father, I find myself shaking my head at it and tutting.

Let’s be honest here. The Wii U is a failure, both commercially and critically. Don’t get me wrong: I love Nintendo and always will. I admire their tenacity and ambitions. They always want to do something different from the others and I respect that they take risks and bring us unique and innovative ways to play. They’re the Che Guevara of games publishers; they will never conform to the norms of society and they champion the common man’s struggle against the money-centric mentality of their peers.

Nintendo are the Che Guevara of games publishers…

But are Nintendo the angels we sometimes make them out to be? Surely developing the Wii U at a relatively low cost, replete with an underpowered CPU which has made them lose the support of several big publishers is a sign of bad times. Seriously, as a Nintendo gamer since childhood, ignoring my Wii U is not a good thing at all. And I honestly don’t think Nintendo can turn it around. This year is the last swansong of the Wii U. Luckily for gamers, they will be going out with a bang.

A recently leaked list of upcoming releases found it’s way online and was reported by MyNintendoNews a week or so ago. If true, we’re looking at some exciting stuff coming up. Games like Mario Kart 8 this week, and Super Smash Bros may even boost sales of the flagging console but the overall damage is done. Nintendo have failed to compete with Sony and Microsoft who have captured, or rather retained the hardcore market, which Nintendo once held, nay, raised in their own hands.

It’s inevitable that Nintendo will unleash a Zelda at some point. That should be the goodbye we deserve, so no surprised there, though I am personally very excited to see what they do with it. The first true HD entry in the series should be something very special, and you just know when Nintendo release their own major brands, they’re the best in the business. Spin-off Hyrule Warriors by Tecmo looks like fun but I doubt it will set the world ablaze. Interestingly, the list also claims a StarFox game is in the works. Good. It’s been too long, and the Lylat Wars/StarFox 64 3D re-release on the 3DS only served to offer us a slice of nostalgia pie. I want something epic and new.

A new F-Zero game also appears on the list among several unnamed new IPs. I can’t wait for some more anti-grav future racing personally as I have very fond memories of F-Zero GX on the GameCube. That was two generations ago! The 3DS also has a very sexy line of big releases, chief among them being a new entry in the seminal Metroid series. Could this be the rumoured Metroid: Dread that was the talk of the town many moons ago? We shall soon see.

All in all, it seems like Nintendo will be providing a good service for their fans this year but I can’t help but feel this is too little, too late. Gamers want to move on and experience a new generation of consoles with advanced graphics and features. Sure, loyalists may be perfectly happy with their favourite publisher but the fact remains that an underpowered console stifles the creative freedom of developers. Imagine seeing a Zelda game with the scope of an Elder Scrolls title? Impossible on the Wii U. The CPU simply won’t allow it. Just read the myriad interviews with disappointed game designers who feel their imagination cannot be realised by a console that doesn’t allow them to create what they see and envisage in their mind’s eye. It may not seem like it, and many will disagree with me, but the limitations of a console directly affect the game and I’m not just talking about graphics (which of course “don’t matter”). The clocking speed of the Wii U means less things can happen on the screen because the console can’t cope with it. Which means dumbing down certain features to accommodate this.

All in all, it seems like Nintendo will be providing a good service for their fans this year but I can’t help but feel this is too little, too late.

I mean, the specs of the console were already weak to begin with, even compared to older consoles like the PS3 and Xbox360. The original Wii was a GameCube disguised as a new console with motion controlled bells and whistles. Maybe I’m being too cynical, but I just fear Nintendo are going the way of Sega. I’m not mentally prepared to see Mario on PlayStation. My inner child will die if that happens. You could argue that it’ll never happen; Nintendo was and always will be the stubborn old man of the gaming world, steadfastly refusing to budge from their decrepit throne. But Sega fans felt the same way about their console. All the signs of those Apocalyptic final months of Sega’s life are being repeated here. The Dreamcast was the first of the 128 bit consoles, but it was very quickly eclipsed by Sony’s PlayStation 2, Nintendo’s GameCube and even Microsoft’s new kid on the block, that loveable whipper-snapper, the original Xbox. Is history repeating itself here? I don’t know, but it does make me anxious.

I, and many others await with baited breath to see what Nintendo pull out of their hats. We already know their presence at E3 will be relegated to another Direct video presentation rather than a stage demonstration from Reggie Fils-Aimes. I guess that’s a good thing; those opening statements from the bigwigs are usually boring as hell. But is this subdued performance from Nintendo another sign of failure, shying away from playing with the other big boys in the playground? Or are they that weird hipster kid, sitting in the corner, reading the works of Friedrich Nietzsche and complaining about games being too mainstream?

What can Nintendo do to survive? The handheld market remains securely in their iron grasp. Hell, they could even skip this generation of home consoles and focus on the 3DS until they release a beast that only the PS5 and XboxOneTwo or whatever, can compete with. Lord knows they make enough money to take a break, but that doesn’t mean anything to the gamer. The gamer wants their loyalty rewarded. The gamer wants their favourite worlds realised with glorious new technology. The gamer wants games. Enough pandering to new mums and little kids, Nintendo. Your fans need you!

Sincerely,

Life-long Nintendo fans.