Torrent Invites! Buy, Trade, Sell Or Find Free Invites, For EVERY Private Tracker! HDBits.org, BTN, PTP, MTV, Apollo, Bibliotik, PTH, BitMe, BitMeTV, IPT, SCC, TL etc!



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  1. #1
    User Mr.Whaddafuxup's Avatar
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    My joke competition giveaway.

    Right i have for the best jokes posted on this thread a few invites, best 3 jokes win 1 invite each if this is not allowed Mr Administrator then i revert this GA back to normal GA rules ratio proofs ect ect ect.......

    1 x PTP
    1 x BITME
    1 x BITMETV

  2. #2
    anto@torrentinvites.org anto's Avatar
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    can i have hdbits.org instead

  3. #3
    Power User VeteranHD's Avatar
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    OK man, I'll give it a go:

    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
    He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
    While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
    To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

    HA HA HA....
    Last edited by VeteranHD; 11-24-2010 at 12:54 AM.

  4. #4
    Banned keep's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anto View Post
    can i have hdbits.org instead
    i vote for best joke ... :lol:

    anyway .. great thread .. goodluck i might poste a joke later

  5. #5
    Banned eXit's Avatar
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    What is the definition of Trust?Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

  6. #6
    User carlos364's Avatar
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    A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"
    God says "No, ask me anything at all."
    So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time, so, for you, how long is a thousand years?"
    God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes."
    The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you, how much is a million dollars?"
    God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents."
    The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me five cents please?"
    God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son. Just wait five minutes!"

  7. #7
    Donor Payne's Avatar
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    I would Like To apply for Bitme

    A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

    Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

    Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

    While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

    Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

    Principal:
    'What is 3 x 3?'

    Harry:
    '9.'

    Principal:
    'What is 6 x 6?'

    Harry:
    '36.'

    And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

    The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'

    Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions..'

    The principal and Harry both agreed.

    Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

    Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

    Ms. Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

    The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

    Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

    Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

    Harry: 'Pants.'

    The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

    Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

    The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

    Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

    Harry: 'Shake hands .'

    The principal was trembling.

    Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

    Harry:
    'Firetruck.'

    The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the
    teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.
    Last edited by PayneDonor Icon; 11-24-2010 at 05:48 AM.

  8. #8
    Donor Payne's Avatar
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    An old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.

    He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?"

    "Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away.

    He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.

    "Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"

    So the little old man runs around the next block and faces her again, "Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - for $10,000?!"

    She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000... Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

    So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world.

    As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.

    The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, 'Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?'
    "Nah," says the little old man... "Costs too much!"

  9. #9
    Donor Payne's Avatar
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    Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

    The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

    The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

    The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal.. When he enters a roomeveryone says 'Your Eminence'."

    The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

    Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

    She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God

  10. #10
    Donor Payne's Avatar
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    Little Johnny is walking by his parent's bedroom when he hears a lot of noise. He opens the door and sees his dad with his mom bent over the dresser having sex. Dad looks at Little Johnny and smiles, gives him a wink and motions for Johnny to leave the room, so he does.

    A few minutes later dad is walking past Little Johnny's bedroom and hears a noise. He opens the door to see Little Johnny with grandma bent over the dresser having sex. Little Johnny looks at dad and smiles, winks at him and says, "It's not so funny when it's YOUR momma, is it?"


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