IT SEEMS everyone has an opinion about Tracey Jewel from Married At First Sight.

She’s been criticised for having “too much” plastic surgery, for “abandoning” her young daughter in Perth when she moved to Melbourne last month and even for licking her lips.

Tracey is constantly in the headlines, so she has decided to make good use of her growing public profile.

To mark Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Month, she wants to speak openly and honestly about her experience with domestic violence.

Tracey hopes that sharing her story will help other women in abusive relationships feel less alone and encourage them to seek help.

In Australia, one woman a week is killed by a current or former partner, on average. One in three women has experienced sexual or physical violence perpetrated by someone known to them.

Here Tracey shares her experience with News.com.au.

On the fear that comes with being in an abusive relationship:

“I was one of those women who kept it quiet for years. I didn’t know where to turn. I didn’t even know where to look. I was so in my own little world.


“I was too scared to let anyone in and get the kind of help I needed.

“When I look back now, I can see all the warning signs. It was my first relationship, so I didn’t have a benchmark compare him to. You can look back on it and think ‘I get it now’.

“It was the little things. When I moved in with him, there was a massive punch mark through the door and he brushed it off like it was nothing. At the time, I just turned the other cheek. But now if that happened I’d be like ‘Well he has a violent streak’.”

On his controlling behaviour:

“I wanted to go out of my own and wasn’t allowed. It was OK for him to have female friends over, but it wasn’t OK for me to be friends with a man. There were a lot of double standards. You think this is what a relationship is supposed to be like.

“It was the little gripes at me, the little snide remarks, the put downs and then it would escalate from there.”

On the night she nearly died:

“I’ll never forget it. Things would escalate into an arm grab or a forceful hold, but not a hit. He would push my head into the wall or push me off a chair.

“But then the breaking point was when he slammed my head into the floor with my ponytail and that was it for me.

“He was always apologetic. Always full of apologies. Was always sorry. But it was actually that last time when I realised he could have killed me and that’s not an exaggeration.

“I got up and blacked out for a little bit. I just wanted to leave the house and run to my neighbours and he just refused to let me go. So I attacked back.

“It’s like something snapped in my and I thought ‘I have to get out of here’. There’s just no going back from that point.”

On how she learned to stand on her own two feet:

“I was ashamed for years. I thought ‘Why didn’t I leave sooner? Why did I put up with that?’

“He would threaten me and say if I ever left him, he was going to close down the bank account and I would lose all my friends, and he followed through on that.

“When I did choose to leave him, he shut off my bank account. I had to buy a car. I had to get a part time job, I had to live with my parents for nine months until I got back on my feet.

“He turned people against me. I lost friends. I thought ‘He’s just saying this stuff’, but he really did it.

“But I never would be the person I am today if I didn’t go through that. Now I will never be in a situation again where I am reliant on a man.”

On the judgement she received from those around her:

“Although my parents and friends were supportive, they don’t understand how hard it is and you feel a lot of judgment. People say, ‘Why did you stay?’

“I think that’s absolute BS and it pisses me right off, because everyone puts it back on the woman. No one deserves to be treated like that, there is no excuse for that behaviour.

“If I had a role model to look up to in my situation, that got out of an abusive situation, that would have been massively helpful. So if I can speak to one woman in my situation and if that motivates her to get out of a bad situation, then that’s fantastic.”

On finding a healthy balance in her new relationship:

“I’m in a great relationship with Sean now. (Sean and Tracey were contestants on Married At First Sight and got together on the reality dating show).

“We just spent the weekend away with my daughter and he’s so supportive. He’s really easy going. We’re like equals. I definitely feel like I’ve met my match. We’re just equal in how we think and what we want.

“Women do have options. I’m not a professional psychologist but I can tell you about my experience and what I did in my situation. We all have choices. We always have a choice. You’re not stuck in anything.”