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Satan appeared before a small town congregation.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.
Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly.
Satan walked up to him and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years..."
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I read somewhere that smoking is bad for your health, so I quit smoking.
I also read somewhere that drinking was bad for your health, so I quit drinking.
And then I read that too much sex can be bad for your health too, so I quit......reading!
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User
What kind of pictures do Turtles take?
Shellfies
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Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now." "Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
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How are gay people like mice?
They both hate pussies
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-> Mom !!! I'm Pregnant... !!!
---> Honey, Are You Drunk ?
-> Yeah, Why ?
---> You're a BOY...!!!
-> ... ... ...
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Power User
LOL I read this as women and TOMATOES.. I’m thinking WHY does a tomato take houses and moan
What does a woman have in common with KFC?
Once you are finished with the breast and thigh, you’re left with a greasy box to put your bone in.
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Q: Is Google Male or Female?
A: Female, Cause it Doesn't Let You Finish a Sentence Before Making a Suggestion...
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A Man Is Being Arrested By a Female Police Officer, Who Informs Him, "Anything You Say Can & Will Be Held Against You..."
The Man Replies, "Boobs !"
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