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Thread: Joke Of The Day

  1. #101
    kuho
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    How can you tell if your wife is dead?
    The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
    whiteLight and chinski like this.

  2. #102
    kuho
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    What kind of bees make milk?
    Boobies!
    whiteLight likes this.

  3. #103
    kuho
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    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    Breasts don't have eyes.
    chinski likes this.

  4. #104
    let it be.
    chinski's Avatar
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    Ahh I've missed this thread!!!



    I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car.
    Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
    I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend."
    He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?"
    I said, "No, she's a fucking optician."

  5. #105
    let it be.
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    How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None. You don't need a lightbulb when you have a glass ceiling.

  6. #106
    kuho
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    Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front. The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.
    "No", the man replied. "Land-mines."

  7. #107
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    A man walked into a bar and sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say “nice tie!” Looking around, he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar. A few sips later the voice said “beautiful shirt“. At this, the man called the bartender over. “Hey…I must be losing my mind,” he told the bartender. “I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there’s not a soul in here but us.” “It’s the peanuts,” answered the bartender. “Say what?” “You heard me,” said the barkeep. “It’s the peanuts … they’re complimentary.“

  8. #108
    kuho
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    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me ..."
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  9. #109
    kuho
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    When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.
    The Russians used a pencil.

  10. #110
    kuho
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    So the baby snake says to its mom: "Mom, are we poisonous?"
    And the mommy snakes says, "Why do you ask?"The baby replies, "Because I just bit my tongue."


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