THE home-and-away season is done with and I just can’t wait to get into the finals. Oh hang on, that’s right, we’ve got to spend a week twiddling our thumbs waiting for the action to re-start.

Still, at least we’ve got some awards to keep us occupied. Including the All-Australian side tonight (early prediction: someone gets picked in a position they don’t ever actually play) and the below - a set of gongs the AFL will never hand out or (endorse) but which would more closely reflect what fans are talking about in pubs this weekend while not watching any footy.

Most Underrated Player: Brad Sheppard
Just quietly goes about his business matching up on the best small and mid-sized forwards with a minimum of fuss and a maximum of effectiveness. His lockdown ability is what allows some of his teammates to work of their opponents and it’s a surprise he isn’t up for All-Australian selection alongside them. One player who has really blossomed since Adam Simpson became coach.

Most Overrated Player: Gary Ablett
Looks like a bloke who has lost pretty much all faith in his body...the tackling and the pressure just isn’t there any more, he’s basically only an outside player now. Does the Gary Ablett of five years ago kick the goal that would have won the game against Richmond three weeks ago? I would have thought so.

Worst recruit: Jack Watts
I was one of the people who thought he might just be the perfect complement to the other big bodies at Port like Charlie Dixon, Patrick Ryder and Justin Westhoff. Instead he’s a tease: one moment he makes the game look easy, the next you just don’t think he’s up to it. He’s like the Mark Waugh of footy, without the lasting impact. As a former No. 1 pick he’s definitely now at a fork in the road.

Best recruit: Devon Smith
Even when the Bombers were struggling earlier in the year he looked dangerous, so it’s no surprise to see him shining with Essendon’s late-season resurgence. His pressure and tackling are stand-outs and I’d be surprised if he isn’t named an All-Australian.

Worst team performance: Fremantle at Geelong
Don’t let the creditable showing against Collingwood on the weekend cover over the fact that the week before was as pathetic as it gets. To kick three goals in the first quarter and no more for the rest of the match, while having your fair share of talent on the field, just beggars belief. We copped our lumps in the early days of the Brisbane Bears but we never gave up 23 consecutive goals!

Coach of the year (who probably won’t get an award): Nathan Buckley
Considering he was a dead man walking a year ago, his new job security is all the more remarkable. Most pundits (including me) didn’t have Collingwood as a top-eight team, let alone one that could finish third. An amazing turnaround.

Worst umpired rule: The incursion zone
Not sure I’ve ever seen a rule so confusing for players, fans, coaches and - apparently - the umpires themselves. Was brought in to stop blokes wandering in and impacting on the play after a mark or free kick. Now that situation seems to go without penalty, while players having no impact get pinged. Go figure. Closely followed by the incorrect disposal rule, which just doesn’t seem to be paid at all any more...except in situations where it shouldn’t!

Player you might not have heard about but certainly will: Harry Morrison
Was dropped for Hawthorn’s clash with Fremantle a few weeks back and at that point might have been a bit too wet behind the ears for the big stage. But he’s come back strongly and some of the tricks he showed against Sydney on the weekend suggest the penny has well and truly dropped. Keep your eye on him in September and beyond.

Biggest underachievers: Adelaide
From grand finalists to 12th suggest you’ve got a lot of ground to make up. And their neighbours across town aren’t far behind. Port constantly look like they’re knock-knocking on the door of contention only to fail to walk through it.

They’re coming: The Bombers
Essendon ships out Brendon Goddard and possibly adds Andrew Gaff, with Joe Daniher still to come back from injury. Given they would have been close to the top of a ladder that covered the past 13 or 14 weeks, you’d have to think the Bombers are the team outside the eight best positioned to make some serious noise next year.

Summer storyline: Gubby Allan
Once banned by the AFL over the Lachie Whitfield affair, could it be that the former Lions, Collingwood and GWS footy boss is going to be endorsed by the league to take up a new role at the Saints?

Worst trend in footy: Who do I kick it to?
Nothing has become more irritating in footy than seeing a bloke get the footy, then have to corkscrew around and play slow-motion sideways football after he realises there are absolutely no teammates up the ground to kick it to. A direct by-product of coaches stacking numbers in defence.

Worst trendy term of the year: ‘The wraparound’
No idea how this entered the footy vocabulary but it’s another overt Americanisation used to describe the moment when a big fella marks the ball and has a much-smaller teammate scoot past at close range for the little give. Why do we need a special term for that for that? Also, don’t get me started on the sudden popularity of the word “territory.”

Worst AFL decision that was handy for one year: the pre-finals bye
I was happy to see this happen once...in 2016. Woof Woof! But a weekend without any footy at this time of year is a total waste.

Word on the street
It’s fairly common knowledge that Alistair Clarkson texted Cyril Rioli to see if he might come out of retirement for the next month. But I’m also led to believe two northern clubs might have made similar enquiries about the former Hawthorn star.

Talking bulltish
Hard not to laugh after hearing Brendon Bolton suggest “some people” might have thought the Blues had a “disappointing” season and then seemingly want want to throw in a “but…”. Not just some, Brendon, it’s everyone. Don’t forget mate, your club has just had its worst season since 1901!